What do you do?

When someone depends on you for their only source of happiness?

When they don't understand when you tell them, they need to be happy with themselves first?

When all they do is complain about their life and their situations but then tell you, hey, you make me really happy and that is all I have.

I don't think I can be that person. That is a very daunting task that I don't think I am up for.

What do you do when they don't listen and put words in your mouth?

Things that you aren't saying?

What do you do when someone accuses you of something that you are not doing and then trying to play it off as a joke?

But you can tell by their tone of voice that they are not joking, then try to play it off because of a movie they were watching.

What do you do when you feel untrusted?

I am trying to answer all of these questions and have been for days. Now I sit here with a glass of wine after another trying day. Being given ultimatums because all I have asked for is a little time to figure this out.

Being made to be the bad guy because my red flags have gone up and I am listening to them.

Being made to answer questions that I don't know the answer to.

Being made to feel like I have done something wrong when the questions that I have are valid and are causing me to think about where the path is leading in my life.

I try to take into account all that we have in common and maybe what was said was a joke.

But to have to justify myself for something as simple is going to the grocery store so I can eat does not set well with me.

I know that a relationship is a two way street but to have someone elses paranoia start to effect you when you have done nothing, is that a challenge worth accepting?

If this is how it is now, will it get better or worse?

The feeling I have is that it will be worse. And I can not have that and will not allow that in my life.

I have seen what that can do to people and it broke my heart many times.

The worst part is that this will effect more than me. This will effect people that I care about and love like family.

I don't want that to happen but...

If there is no trust in a relationship, can there even be a relationship?

I think the answer is no.

And it makes me sad to say this but I think that is the answer.

It breaks my heart to be the one to do this but trying to brush aside the feelings will not work because I am not willing to take the risk to let this happen again.

I think maybe right now, I need to just be with the ones that love me unconditionally, don't question me (unless of course I were to get hurt) and be with myself a little longer.

It has been a very trying year already with a lot of changes happening. I think maybe this isn't right.

But how to say it..?